What do you call a 1,000 pound woman sitting on a bar stool?

A half-ton pickup.

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Why TELL you when I can SHOW you?

then just sit there for 5 years.

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A drowning epileptic.

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What do you call a 1,000 pound woman sitting on a bar stool?

A half-ton pickup.

How do you fit 4 guys on a bar stool?

Turn it upside-down. But how do you get them off Shake the stool. (OK, I'll leave now.)