What do you call a jazz musician without a girlfriend?

Homeless

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What did the redneck say to his girlfriend after they broke up?

Its ok, we can still be cousins."

What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant?

Abort - Bort - Bort!

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How do Jazz musicians drink their liquor?

Straight, No Chaser.

What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician?

A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands. A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3