What do you call joke told by a duck?

A wise quack.

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What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

How do mute people tell each others secrets?

They put on mittens.

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Why does Peter Pan always fly?

He Neverlands. I really love this joke because it never grows old!

Why are they called jokes?

Because calling them republican presidential candidates would make me cry.

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What kind of drugs do ducks use?

Quack.

Why do ducks nod their head when they walk?

They're listening to duckstep!