What do you call mail that likes to have fun?

Outgoing mail.

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What did Kellyanne Conway say about the leaked e-mails?

They're just alternate fax.

What did Sandy Hook elementary get in the mail instead of new books?

Empty Magazines.

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When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?

I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too ".

What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute ?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

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What do you call it when you make fun of someone's gambling addiction?

Slot shaming.

Why are surveyors so much fun?

Because most of them are party chiefs.