Mail Jokes

Why can't you e-mail a photo to a Jedi?

Because attachments are forbidden.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

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How does Voldemort seal his mail?

With his Parceltongue. (...I'll see myself out)

What is Anthony Weiner's favorite type of mail?

Junk mail

What's the difference between Hillary's e-mails and the UK leaving the EU?

Hillary got off Scott-free.

Why does Bono never get any mail?

He lives on a street with no name.

What did the terrorist send in the mail?

A CAIR package.

What's the difference between and elephant and a mail box?

I don't know. I hope you're not allowed to take the mail out to the mail box.

What's the difference between an Elephant and a post box?

Well, if you don't know I'm definitely not asking you to mail this letter for me.

Where does Iron man get his e-mail?

Fe-mail

What do you call mail that likes to have fun?

Outgoing mail.

How do you mail an egg?

In a henvelope!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?

A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.

How do sheep sign their e-mails?

Ewes sincerely.

What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox?

If you don't know you must lose a lot of mail.

What do vampires put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Best viscious.

Why couldn't the alligator send e-mails on his PC?

Because it was on old croc.

What's the normal amount of hair to mail someone?

I feel like this is a lot of hair I'm mailing to someone

What did the mailman say when his Mail truck caught fire?

That he needed to address the situation

Why didn't the internit get any e-mail?

Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.

What did Kellyanne Conway say about the leaked e-mails?

They're just alternate fax.

How do skunks like their e-mails?

Scent.

Why was the hen banned from sending e-mails?

She was always using fowl language.

How do Italian Chefs swap recipes?

By Spaghett-e-mail!

Why does Bernie Sanders use Snapchat?

Damn E-mails!

Why don't the post office get the Jehovah's Witnesses to deliver the mail on Saturday?

Work smarter not harder people.

How does James Bond type e-mails?

With his goldfinger.

Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens?

A: Because she wanted to mail a litter.

When is it okay for monks to use e-mail?

When there are no attachments

What did the guy with a neckbeard say when he had to mail something twice?

REPOST!"

How do writers send e-mail?

On the Inkernet.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

What letters are not in the alphabet?

The ones in the mail of course!

Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange?

Because the lime was engaged.

Where does Edgar Allen Poe get his mail?

at his P.O. Box

Where do ghosts mail their letters?

At the ghost office.

How do snowmen read their e-mails?

With an icy-stare!

How do long distance runners send e-mail?

On the sprin-ternet.

What came in the mail today?

Anthrax.

Why did the worlds shortest feminist burn down a post shop?

Because the mail was always above her.

How do whales type e-mails?

With their fish fingers.

What do you call a lamp you send in the mail?

Lamp post

What do robots put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Yours tin-sincerely.

How does a farmer send messages?

By e-i-e-i-o-mail.

Why do church bells never send e-mails?

They'd rather give each other a ring.

Why did the internit paint his computer screen in little black and white squares?

He wanted to check his e-mail.

Why don't vikings send e-mails?

They prefer to use Norse code.

What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Beast wishes.

Why don't you stamp e-mails?

Because your foot would go right through the computer screen!

What did Sandy Hook elementary get in the mail instead of new books?

Empty Magazines.

When do e-mails stop being in black and white?

When they are read.

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Post Office Jokes More Post Office Jokes

What do you get if a post office burns down?

Black mail.

What two words have the most letters?

Post office.

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

Why did Hillary go to the gynecologist?

She was feelin' the Bern!

What do you call someone who supports Hillary?

Paid off.

Voldemort Jokes More Voldemort Jokes

What happened to Voldemort's face?

Nobody nose.

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.

Photo Jokes More Photo Jokes

What would the Pilsbury Doughboy be if photos of him were constantly being put on magazine covers?

A roll model.

What did one plant say to another when it dropped its camera into the sea?

Photos-in-the-seas!"

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How do you make a hippopotamus float?

2 hippos and a LOT of root beer.

Why doesn't the ant ever get sick?

He has lots of antibodies.

Manual Jokes More Manual Jokes

Why do girls prefer to drive auto cars, instead of manual?

Because they want the D.

What kind of car did Jesus drive?

a manual.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the Difference between a Wife and an Attic Door?

An attic door can shut up. im going to hell

What's the difference between a tuna a piano and a pot of glue..?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna What about the pot of glue reddit will ask. Hahahahaha I knew you'd get stuck there

Instruction Jokes More Instruction Jokes

Why do they put half of the instructions in Spanish?

It drives me crazy. I feel like I am missing out on important information. They should put the whole thing in one language.

Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby?

Me: I helped 5: How Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions