Manual Jokes

Why do americans get manuals when buying a new car?

I thought they only drive automatic

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Why did Soviet dictator always drive an automatic transmission?

He was always Stalin in his manual!

Why do girls prefer to drive auto cars, instead of manual?

Because they want the D.

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual."

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

What kind of car did Jesus drive?

a manual.

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Brit Jokes More Brit Jokes

How many Brits does it take to change a lightbulb?

Manual work That's what underpaid Eastern immigrants are for pff

Why did the Geometry major marry a Brit?

Because she was a cute angle.

Mail Jokes More Mail Jokes

Why do church bells never send e-mails?

They'd rather give each other a ring.

Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens?

A: Because she wanted to mail a litter.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What cars do cows drive?

Cattleacs

What's the worst part about driving Ford off a cliff?

Ford was my best friend.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How to make Holy Water Friend: Hey, how do you make Holy Water?

Me: Uhh...Let me think... Why Friend: You boil the hell out of it! Me: Get out.

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"?

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? "FIRETRUCK"!!! What were you thinking? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"? ..."POPCORN"!! What were you thinking?!?!?!

Stalin Jokes More Stalin Jokes

Why did Soviet dictator always drive an automatic transmission?

He was always Stalin in his manual!

Why are the Soviets Russian?

Because there's no Stalin.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many children does it take to change a light bulb in America?

About 1 thousand Iraqis.

How many Bill Cosbys does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one but every time he does he causes a blackout.

Automatic Transmission Jokes More Automatic Transmission Jokes

Why do feminists only drive cars with automatic transmissions?

It pains them to have standards.

Why did Soviet dictator always drive an automatic transmission?

He was always Stalin in his manual!

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What happened when Sean Connery bought himself a little kitten?

The cat shat on the mat.

Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.