What happened when Sean Connery bought himself a little kitten?

The cat shat on the mat.

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What happens when an egg laughs?

He cracks up

What happened to Voldemort's face?

Nobody nose.

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What do cats read in the morning ?

Mewspapers !

What does a cat say when it lands on it's back?

Me. Ow.

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Where does an octopus go to buy shoes?

Inke

Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues?

Because he had a stinking cold!

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What did Sean Connery say when he noticed that there wasn't any electricity in the Pennsylvania countryside?

Shomething'sh Amish..."

What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon?

Ten-ish.