What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute ?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why do kids hate Steven Hawking?

They don't like their vegetables.

Why do New Yorkers like to visit Minnesota?

Because that's where the mini apple is!

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Why is K-9 another term for a dog?

Because if it was a cat, it would be a K-10.

How many dead bodies do I have to leave on the porch before they acknowledge me?

Cats

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party?

Because they were 50% off!

What has 200 legs 50 noses and is very loud?

A herd of stampeding aardvarks!

Minute Jokes More Minute Jokes

What do I and Ronda Rousey have in common?

neither of us can last more than a minute :(

How did the hour and minute hands of the clock get cancer?

Second hand smoking! My own joke that I've been meaning to put up for a while. Time to see how it goes haha.

Sneeze Jokes More Sneeze Jokes

What would you name someone who can predict when people sneeze?

Nostrildamus

Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze!

500 Jokes More 500 Jokes

Whores does it take to change a light bulb?

If this gets 500 upvotes i'll tell you!

What do you call it when a waiter at an internet cafe gets your order wrong?

500 Internal Server Error

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

Why don't Game of Thrones characters tweet with Twitter?

They were ravin' with Raven.

How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.