What do you do when ISIS attacks?

Make a mad Daesh to a shelter

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What satellite TV provider does ISIS use?

Daesh Network

What do they teach in ISIS business school?

Execution is everything.

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How many muslims does it take to climb a building?

daesh many.

How much salt does Jihadi John have on his chips?

Just a Daesh.

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What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.

Why couldn't Moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter?

Because the shelter was non prophet.