What do you get when you buy a $5 umbrella?

Wet.

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Where is the best place in town to buy marijuana?

High Street, of course.

How do you sell chocolate to a deaf/foreign person?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME CHOCOLATE?!

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When should a mouse carry an umbrella ?

When it's raining cats and dogs !

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella everywhere he goes?

Fo' Drizzle!

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What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

Where did Sally go during the explosion?

Everywhere!