What do you get when you buy a $5 umbrella?

Wet.

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Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ?

He wanted Mark Antony !

What do you call a bunch of people buying non-brand name ice skates?

Cheapskates getting cheap skates

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Why does Snoop Dawg carry an umbrella?

Fo drizzle

Why do businessmen carry umbrellas?

Because umbrellas can't walk.

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What is the Taliban's favorite holiday footwear?

Missile Toe!

What do we call a wireless mouse?

Hamster.