What do you give someone who is about to tear up?

Tape

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Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

What's the best part about showering with a 5 year-old?

The water washes away her tears

Why does salt melt snow?

Because when your salty you melt down in tears.

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

Whoa. There are books on TAPE?

Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives.

What do you call Quicksilver when he's duct taping people's mouths?

A running gag.