What does Sean Connery call a greedy oyster?

Shellfish.

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What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Why does Sean Connery hog all of the oysters at a seafood dinner?

Because it's shellfish.

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How did the shellfish win the underwater beauty pageant?

Using saxitoxin.

What kind of cars do shellfish drive?

Mussel cars.