What followed the Big Bang?

The Big Cigarette

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What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

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Why is it called Big Bang?

Baby universe was born.

What followed the Big Bang?

The Big Cigarette