What grocery store does Charlie Sheen frequently visit?

Rite Aid

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Why did Walt Disney visit a mechanic?

He wanted to get his Car tuned

What were the Virgin Islands called, after Chuck Norris visited them?

The Islands

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Why is Charlie Sheen always seen smiling?

Because he's so damn positive!

What's the difference between the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and Charlie Sheen?

Charlie Sheen's winning.

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What's musical and useful at the grocery store?

A Chopin Liszt Note: taken from one of those horrible "Joke of the Day" desk calendars. It took almost 12 months to get something clever.

How much is the rent for this amazing apartment?

Ma'am, this is the wine aisle of the grocery store.