What happened to that?

Husband: You spent it all dear.

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What happens when a linguist gets sick?

Plosive diarrhea

What happens when geese land in a volcano ?

They cook their own gooses !

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What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand?

hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING ! ! !

Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...