What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you ?

My Wife... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did Santa want a divorce?

His wife made sure he only came once a year.

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What color does your skin turn when you pour molten gold onto it?

Au-burn

How do you turn soup into gold?

You add 24 carats!

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What is the worst thing you want to hear from a doctor giving you a prostate exam?

Look ma, no hands!"

What's the point?

You look ridiculous. What difference does 1 inch really make Don't answer that.

Mirror Jokes More Mirror Jokes

What's the worst part about making out with a perfect 10?

The cold feeling on your lips when you realize you're kissing the mirror

What's it called when you look in the mirror and say "jesus christ I look good"?

Using the lords name in vanity