What is red, slimy and crawls up your leg?

An abortion with home sickness.

This joke may have profanity.

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What do you call a cow with only legs on one side?

Lean Beef.

What's got four legs and one arm?

An attack dog in a preschool.

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What's the best part about abortions?

They never get old

What do people in Prague call abortions?

Canceled Czechs

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What do you do when you see a half dead native man crawling across your lawn?

Stop laughing and reload

How would you order a Subway footlong in metric countries where they don't have feet?

By crawling to the counter " GET OUT