What is Tom Brady's favorite opera?

Deflatermaus! (Die Fledermaus!)

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Where do bacteria go when they die?

St. Petri Dish.

Why did so many black people die in Vietnam?

Because when they shouted "GET DOWN!" they all started dancing.

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How do you think the whole Deflategate situation feels to Tom Brady now?

Probably doesn't feel how he prefers it to...

What's the difference between Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger?

Tom wants his balls illegally deflated on the field and Ben wants that off the field.