What laxative did the constipated man ask for?

Poop-ease

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What did the doctor tell a welder when the welder asked if his girlfriend(a pilot) using alternative lube was giving him erectile dysfunction?

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams

Why did Tina Fey cross the road ?

To get another Golden Globe. Tina Fey walks into the Tina Fey,the Tina Fey asks "How can i Tina Fey you ?to which Tina Fey reply,"Ah just give me a Tina Fey" and then leaves with a Golden Globe. Unbreakable is good.

Constipate Jokes More Constipate Jokes

Why the carpenter is always constipated?

Because his stool so hard!

What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl?

One shoots and shoots but can't hit, and the other...

Laxative Jokes More Laxative Jokes

How do you get money out of a piggy bank?

Feed it laxatives.

What happened to the Marine that took a laxative?

He was relieved of doodie.