What looks like celery, tastes like celery, but isnt celery?

Artificial celery

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What did the bobby (English policeman) say to the hitchhiker with three heads, no arms and one leg?

Ello 'ello 'ello, you look 'armless, 'op in."

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Why were all the other vegetables afraid of celery?

because celery stalks

What looks like celery, tastes like celery, but isnt celery?

Artificial celery