What mysterious hair product does Lucifer use to keep himself looking good?

Arcane-gel!

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Why do political yes-men use so much Raid?

Because they're sycophants!

What internet provider does Satan use in hell?

Comcast

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How do you know a white person is about to tell a joke?

He's looking over his shoulder

Why is there a wolf in the smoke shop?

He's just looking for a pack.