How can you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

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How do deaf people tell each other secrets ?

They wear mittens.

What did the policeman say when he was told about the large pothole?

I'll look into it."

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Why am I black and you're white?

A boy asks his mom, Why am I black and you're white? She says, Don't even go there. The way that party went, you're lucky you don't bark

What asks no question but demands an answer?

A doorbell or a ringing telephone.

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What do chemists say when they smell something that they don't like?

Pu

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

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What do a plumber and a walrus have in common?

They both like a good, tight seal.

How do you tell which plumber went home for lunch?

He's the one with the clean finger.

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How do you tell the difference between a factory worker, and a chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized'

How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.