Plumber Jokes

What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack?

An asphalt

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.

What did one plumber say to the other plumber?

Pipe down.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Why are Plumbers always so tired?

Because their job is draining.

Why don't plumbers ride bikes?

Because they'd get arrested for peddling crack

Why was the plumber stressed?

He had a high pressure job

What do a plumber and a walrus both enjoy?

A nice tight seal

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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How much does a plumber make in an hour?

It depends on how much crack he can produce.

What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist?

Pronounce this word: unionized

How do you upset a plumber?

Kidnap his princess.

Whats a Plumber's favorite vegetable?

A Leek!

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word, "unionized".

What do a plumber and a walrus have in common?

They both like a good, tight seal.

What vegetables do plumbers hate the most?

Leeks

Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working?

Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer.

What's the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber?

The way they pronounce "unionized"

Why did you jump on a turtle?

Me: Because I'm a plumber

How can you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

How do you tell which plumber went home for lunch?

He's the one with the clean finger.

What vegetable needs a plumber?

A leek.

How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Why is lumberjack the only job with some random guy's name attached?

Why aren't plumbers called, like, toiletdougs Or crapperjoels

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Pipe Jokes More Pipe Jokes

What did one plumber say to the other plumber?

Pipe down.

When is the water in the shower room musical?

When it's piping hot.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What do you say to a black guy with a job?

Keep at it, inmate!

What are your expectations?

Me : Job. Interviewer : I mean what do you want from this job Me : Salary

Peddle Jokes More Peddle Jokes

Why don't plumbers ride bikes?

Because they'd get arrested for peddling crack

What am I, The Lord of War?

Peddle your conflict fruit someplace else.

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?

because he was following people before instagram

Why couldn't the police arrest the robber on the second floor?

Because he took the stairs.

3000 Jokes More 3000 Jokes

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

Why cant billy ride the swings?

he has no arms. knock knock. Whos there Not billy

What do riding a bike and playing basketball have in common?

If you're not careful, you can pop a ball.

Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

Why don't violists get stressed?

Because they have nothing to fret about!

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

Pronounce Jokes More Pronounce Jokes

Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard?

ROBOT: twitch, spark

Why are there exactly two hundred and thirty nine beans in an Irish Bean Soup?

Because if there were one more, it'd be two forty. (Too farty) This works much better when spoken out loud. The joke how Irish people pronounce "forty."