What's a metaphor?

Winning the game tournament!

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Who would win in a fight, Michael J. Fox or Taylor Swift?

Michael J. Fox he would just shake it off.

How does a snail win a race?

It runs against Hillary.

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Why is it so hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac?

Because they always take things... Literally

What is a simile?

It's like a metaphor.