How does a snail win a race?

It runs against Hillary.

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Snail Jokes More Snail Jokes

What did the snail say while riding on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeee!

What do you call a Muslim slug?

A snail...

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

How to win an argument with a deaf girl?

Turn off the lights.

How did the shellfish win the underwater beauty pageant?

Using saxitoxin.

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

Why is Hillary running for President?

Because it's easier than running from the law.

Why couldn't Hillary rig the election like she rigged the DNC?

She deleted that email.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and his E-Wheelchair?

If you repair both, the E-Wheelchair is the only thing running again

Why did the Eskimos have to stop partying?

because they ran out of Natural Light

Race Jokes More Race Jokes

What is a racing car owner called?

Racist

Who would win in a race?

The Tortoise or the Reddit Servers