Snail Jokes

What do you call a snail on a sail boat?

A snailor

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What did the snail say while riding on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeee!

What do you call a shipping crate full of snails?

Escargot.

Why did God give women legs?

Because he saw the mess that snails left behind!

What did the snail say when he jumped on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

What do you call a Muslim slug?

A snail...

What did the snail on the turtles back say?

WEEEEEEEEEE!

Why arent there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones Locker?

Dead men sell no snails!

What did one snail say to the other snail?

It...all...happened...soooooooo...fast

What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of the turtle?

Weeeeeeeeee

What did the snail say as he rode on the back of a turtle?

A: Wheeee!

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What happens when two snails fight?

A: They slug it out.

Why did the snail cross the road ?

It is not clear yet , let it cross the road first. Update : It has been confirmed that it was to meet the Chicken who crossed the road earlier.

What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise?

Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!

What did the slug say to the snail?

Would you like a copy of the big issue

What is stronger an elephant or a snail ?

A snail because it carries it's house an elephant just carries its trunk !

What did one snail say to the other?

Nothing. They were both decoys.

What are snails trying to do?

Their best

What did the snail say when put on top of a turtle?

Weeeeeeeeeeee

What did the snail say when he rode a turtle?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I'll see myself out.

How does a snail win a race?

It runs against Hillary.

What do you do when two snails have a fight?

Leave them to slug it out.

What gas do snails prefer?

Shell.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with a snail?

The world's slowest vampire.

What did the snail say when his friend lost his car?

Where did Es-car-go.

Why did the snail draw an "S" on the side of his car?

So that when he drove by people could say, "Look at that escargot!"

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?

I don't know but it would slow him down.

What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?

A. Wheeeee!!!!!

How do snails get their shells all shiny?

They use snail polish.

Why doesnt McDonalds serve snail?

Because of sanitation reasons.

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Why is PTSD like riding a bike?

You never forget

Who rode a dog and was a confederate general during the American Civil War ?

Robert E Flea !

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What did the soldier use to season his fries?

A salt rifle.

What do you use when you have dry eyes?

Moist-your-eyes-er

Snailor Jokes More Snailor Jokes

What do you call a snail in the sea?

A snailor.

What do you call a snail in the Navy?

A Snailor

Shell Jokes More Shell Jokes

What do you call Bruce Lee stuffed in a shell?

A crustacean

What did Zach De La Rocha bring home from the beach?

A pocket full of shells.

Ship Jokes More Ship Jokes

Why are camels referred to as "the ships of the desert" ?

They are full of Iranian seman

What kind of ship never sinks?

A dictatorship. *sobs*

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?

First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare

Why did the pig join the Army?

He heard the food was a mess.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What are a redneck's last words?

Hey, guys, look what I can do!"

What do you call someone who claims to do drugs to try to look cool?

A marajuannabe.

Trunk Jokes More Trunk Jokes

What has 4 legs and a trunk?

The 2 nigerians that stole my trunk

What is gray, has a trunk, and big ears?

A mouse going on vacation.