What are snails trying to do?

Their best

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What's up with all these idiots on TV trying to talk to ghosts?

I don't even wanna talk to the living.

What do you do when an angry pack of clowns confronts you and tries to fight?

Go straight for the juggler.

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What did the snail on the turtles back say?

WEEEEEEEEEE!

What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise?

Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!