What are snails trying to do?

Their best

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What's your best mattress joke?

Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)

Why did the blonde give up on trying to blow up a car?

She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe

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What do you call a snail on a sail boat?

A snailor

How does a snail win a race?

It runs against Hillary.