What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?

I don't know but it would slow him down.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know you are sitting next to a ski instructor?

They'll tell you.

Why are women so afraid of looking stupid?

Because they don't want the world to know!

Slow Jokes More Slow Jokes

What's the hurry?

Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down, and possibly use a lubricant

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the salad cross the road?

To get away from the PETA convention.

What happens when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scaler.

Snail Jokes More Snail Jokes

Why did the snail draw an "S" on the side of his car?

So that when he drove by people could say, "Look at that escargot!"

What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise?

Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?

A hemogoblin. I came up with this during lecture after a dyslexic moment, thought someone may like it.

What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?

Grave-y !