How do you stop a black guy from jumping on a bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's my type?

Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What did one elf girl say to the other elf girl who wasn't sharing?

Stop being so elfish, Karen!"

What's more fun than swinging a dead baby by a string?

Stopping it with a shovel!

Black Guy Jokes More Black Guy Jokes

How do you stop a black guy from jumping on a bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

What do you call the white guy on a bus full of black guys?

Coach.

Ceiling Jokes More Ceiling Jokes

How do you start a rave party in Ethiopia?

Glue bread to the ceiling.

How do you make a rave party in Africa?

You stick a piece of bread on the ceiling.

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Who's there ! Candy ! Candy who ?

Candy cow jump over the moon !

What sound does a pool make when someone you don't like jumps in?

DOOOOUUUUCCCCHHHEEEEEE!

Velcro Jokes More Velcro Jokes

How do you stop a black guy from jumping on a bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

What does velcro yell as it charges into battle?

ATTACH!