What's the hardest thing about having a colostomy bag?

Finding shoes to go with it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust.

How do you find the fastest man in Africa?

Roll a penny down a hill.

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Why shouldn't you buy shoes off the street?

They might be laced with something..

Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes?

A. To remind her that "toes go in first."

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What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard?

Figuring out what to tell you about first.

What is the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead babies?

My erection.