Whats an iPhone 7's favorite brand of frozen pizza?

Not Jack's.

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Whats the difference between a woman president and pizza?

Most people like the idea of pizza better.

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a Disney movie?

Disney movies can still touch little kids.

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What do Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common?

The same middle name.

Why did Apple employee get away jacking off in the office?

Because there are no windows!