Whats the difference between me and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between my shower and everyone?

My shower gets turned on by me.

What's the difference between a pick-up artist and an Atari 2600?

An Atari 2600 has more game. :)

S Jokes More S Jokes

How do you get an elephant into a Safeway shopping cart?

Take the "S" out of safe and the "F" out of way!

Whats the best way to get over a girl?

Get under another one

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

Why did the chicken dance with a fig?

It couldn't get a date.

How do you get a date on Tinder?

Seriously guys, I've been trying for months so if anyone have any useful tips it would be much appreciated.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

Why did the calendar give up on life?

Because he felt his days were numbered.

Why did the calendar die?

It's days were numbered.