Whats white and likes to shoot?

Kevin Nash

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What does your s*** smell like?

Freedom.

How do I know you're not a cop -If I was a cop would I do this?

Starts breakdancing* Thats not as much proof as you think it is

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What do you call a prehistoric humanoid who likes to take his time?

A meander-thal!

What do Kermit the Frog and David Cameron Have in Common?

They both like to pork.

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What did the police officer say to the zoo keeper?

Yeah I get it, I shoot monkeys on sight too.

What do Abraham Lincoln and an '80s sitcom have in common?

Both were shot before a live audience.