What do Abraham Lincoln and an '80s sitcom have in common?

Both were shot before a live audience.

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What do you call a beach where you go to shoot gorillas and break Islamic law?

Haram Bay

What do you say to a man with no legs?

Nothing, he'll shoot you.

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What does a Pirate say when he turns 80?

Ayyyeeeee mmmaattteeeyyy.

Why were some people living in the 80s so healthy?

Because they had good high jeans

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Why is Abraham Lincoln on the Penny?

Because it makes cents (sense).

What do Abraham Lincoln and Peyton Manning have in common?

Neither can finish a play.