Where do you buy a Walrus?

WalMart!

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What do you do if you accidentally cut off your cat's tail?

Take him to WalMart. They are the largest retailer in the world.

Why can't I trust my Walmart calculator?

It's always 7% off.

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Where's the best place to buy jive cheese?

Monterey, Jack!

How can I trust you again?

H: She meant nothing to me! M: Not that. You bought lite sour cream!

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Why did the walrus go to the tuppeware party?

To find a tight seal.. Badum tsst

Why does a walrus love Tupperware?

Because he's always looking for a tight seal.