Which 2 Birthdays go by the quickest?

the twenty second ones and the thirty second ones

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Who is that walking up my driveway?

Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."

What do these 2 have in common What does your mum and a politician have in common?

When they scream they make no sense

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Why is Italy's birth rate decreasing?

Because they pull out at the last second.

How many seconds are in a year?

12. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc