Who is that walking up my driveway?

Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How do you make a baby float?

2 scoops ice cream 1 scoop dead baby

What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar?

A: Ok you 2 dont start anything

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why men like to fishing so much?

They finally found something as smart as them to talk to.

How do you know Kurt Cobain didn't have dandruff?

A bit of his head and shoulders were found behind the couch.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you call an arrogant prisoner walking down the stairs?

Condescending. )

What do you call it when someone gets hit by a bus on his way to pay off his student loans?

Crippling debt! It's funny because he can't walk anymore!

Knock Jokes More Knock Jokes

What do fruit punch and a punch to the face have in common?

Both can knock you out at a party.

What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out?

The dishes if she knows what's good for her!

Driveway Jokes More Driveway Jokes

What do you call a rainbow of Jeeps in the driveway?

Roy Jeep Biv

Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country?

He was Snowden.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why was the New Englander so intent on looking for his khakis?

Cuz he needed to pahk da cah in da yahd.

How many do I need to get an Xbox?

Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

How do you fit 3 babies in a bowl?

Blender. How do you get them out? Chips.

How to be Like Jesus 1. Be a carpenter. 2. Be a nice guy. 3. ?

4. Prophet.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Why did Mary Magdalene have an affair with Jesus?

She heard about his second coming

What's the fastest animal in the world?

A chicken crossing Ethiopia. What's the second fastest animal ... The ethiopian chasing it.

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Incase he got a hole in one. HEHE one of my favs. Whats your fav joke?

What film do you get when you pull your pants down?

Free Willy

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What if I draw a peanut on her napkin?

Wife: Please go wait in the car

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ?

Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !

Anxiety Jokes More Anxiety Jokes

What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety?

Past tense.

What happens to a girl with anxiety when she sees a Spanish person?

She has a hispanic attack

Sigh Jokes More Sigh Jokes

Why won't you loan a neighbor a cup of sugar?

sigh "You're a pile of ants wearing a bathrobe." bathrobe sags dejectedly

What did the annoyed husband tell his wife after she saw elk falling from the sky?

Sigh* That's not elk... That's just reindeer.