What if I draw a peanut on her napkin?

Wife: Please go wait in the car

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down?

Wife.

Why couldn't the Engineer Manager screw his wife?

Sorry I don't have the tools, I only supervise."

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why didn't the piece of paper move out of the way when a car came speeding towards it?

Because it was stationary.

What do cars and humans have in common?

We both burn gas.

Draw Jokes More Draw Jokes

Who the hell is this Rorschach guy?

And why does he keep drawing pictures of my parents fighting

Why did the man take a pencil to bed ?

To draw the curtains !

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Why does jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

Peanut Jokes More Peanut Jokes

Why do elephants prefer peanuts to caviar?

Because they're easier to get at the ballpark.

What do you call a nut on a wall?

A walnut! What do you call a nut at the beach A beech nut! What do you call a nut in the toilet A peanut!!

Napkin Jokes More Napkin Jokes

What if I draw a peanut on her napkin?

Wife: Please go wait in the car

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.