What is the difference between a wife and a mistress?

About 20kg.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Wendy's and Windows?

Wendy's is never frozen.

What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why can't we feed the animals?

Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*

What happens when you sing a country music song backwards?

You get your wife, truck, and land back.

Mistress Jokes More Mistress Jokes

Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress?

She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.