Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress?

She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What's the difference between a lorry with good brakes, and a lorry with nice brakes?

A Lorry with Nice breaks doesn't stop until after a mile.

What do potheads do when they see a fire?

Stop, drop, and roll

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did the bird say after its cage fell apart?

Cheap cheap!

What do you yell when a woman falls of a boat?

Full speed ahead

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why does Calvin Harris like reading fairy tales?

He loves a good happy ending

What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader?

I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes ... A FSHHH

Mistress Jokes More Mistress Jokes

What is the difference between a wife and a mistress?

About 20kg.

What's the definition of a Mistress?

Oh, I don't know. Probably something between a Mister and a mattress.

Einstein Jokes More Einstein Jokes

How many Einsteins does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Relatively few

Why did Einstein refuse to help people fix their cars?

Because his colleagues would call him the Quantum Mechanic.

Anticipate Jokes More Anticipate Jokes

Why do I have to share a room with my twin sister?

ME: Because we only anticipated having one of you.

Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress?

She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement