What happens if you tell a psychiatrist you are schizophrenic?

He charges you double.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when an egg laughs?

He cracks up

What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?

A: It stole the show!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why did Negan watch Arrested Development?

Someone told him there were two Lucilles

How can you tell someone's an atheist?

You can't. They'll always tell you first.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

What did Daniel Boone say to Davey Crocket when thousands of Mexicans charged at them at the Alamo?

Davey.... are we pouring concrete today "

What's the difference between an attorney and a herd of buffalo?

The attorney charges more.

Psychiatrist Jokes More Psychiatrist Jokes

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but only if the lightbulb really to change.

How does a psychiatrist like his sausages?

Freud

Double Jokes More Double Jokes

How can a can you double your money?

By folding it in half.

Why did Muhammad hire Moses to help with his start-up?

He wanted to double his prophets.