Why can't we feed the animals?

Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What does his wife call it?

Microsoft.

What are you praying for?

Husband: For guidance. Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!!

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do you call a group of kids?

a migraine

How do '90s kids count to 6?

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?

A: She went looking for the three guys.

Who's a good girl?

WHOSAGOODGIRRRRLLL Me: *looks around* *slowly raises hand*

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What's the wrong way to feed the cat?

to the dog.

What did the Challenger Austronaut day to his wife before he left?

You feed the kids, I'll feed the fishes."

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on ?

A horse !

What's the difference between an American zoo and a Chinese zoo?

An American zoo will only have a description of the animal. The Chinese zoo has the price and recipe of the animal.