Why can't we feed the animals?

Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Shakespeare say when asked how his wife keeps things interesting?

Anne hath a way."

How did Spartacus feel about going down on his wife?

He was gladiator

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How old are your kids?

kids "

What's the best part of having a kid?

The chewy center.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the mayonnaise say to the man opening the fridge door?

Don't look. I'm dressing."

What did the french chef say when the cheese factory exploded?

What did the french chef say when the cheese factory exploded? Looks like we have debris all over the place

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What is the difference between a call center job and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Where do football directors go when they are fed up ?

The bored room !

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

Why don't you have doggie bags?

Waiter: That would be cruelty to animals.

What's the only animal that can't get hit in the head?

Duck.