Which day is the most agreeable?

Yesterday

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When is the earliest time of day Nintendo fans play games?

The Wii hours of the morning.

Why did Sally the Sloth sleep in all day?

Because her crippling depression leaves her unable to function properly.

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Why can't you trick an aborted fetus?

It wasn't born yesterday

What did the irritated man say to his inguinal hernia?

Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)