Who isn't allowed to watch PG movies?

Orphans.

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Why did the vulture fly United Airlines?

Because they allow 1 free carrion

Why is Jay-Z allowed to ride in the carpool lane by himself?

Because his name is Hov, OH, H-to-the-O-V

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What do you call an investment banker who's always watching you?

A stocker.

What game are you watching?

I wonder what she thought I was doing with my hands.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas?

A family.

How did the orphans in Oliver Twist communicate with each other?

Through *more*se code!