Why are these Facebook status updates so much more interesting than usual?

Oh, because this isn't Facebook - it's a mattress label. My bad.

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Bad Jokes More Bad Jokes

What's the worst part about going to the doctor's and finding out you have diabetes?

You don't get a lollipop afterwards :/

What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl?

What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl? A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed. A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home.

Facebook Jokes More Facebook Jokes

What Slenderman doesnt have?

Facebook.

What's the alien version of Facebook?

Spacebook. (It's a terrible joke I know).