Why are you not laughing?

Cos I'm quitting today."

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Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

Why do people at work always laugh at my jokes?

Because they're paid to.

How many tickles... How many tickles before a squid starts to laugh?

Ten tickles

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

How do you get people to quit smoking?

Cut off their lips

Why did the cyclops quit his job as a teacher?

He only had one pupil.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

What would Hellen Keller be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of the coffin.