Why did the knife quit?

It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! Skip

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Skip Jokes More Skip Jokes

What's the similarity between a flat chested woman and a stone?

You skip them both.

Why is Microsoft skipping Windows 9?

Because Windows 7 8 9

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why didn't the pirate chessplayer enjoy his crackers?

Because they were stale, matey!

When do hamburgers most enjoy watching TV?

During PRIME time!

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

When you go for a bus ride do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs?

I prefer to ride on top but it's very hard getting the horse up the stairs.

How many Arabs does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and blame the Jews.

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders?

He quit running.

What does a redneck do after she bangs her second cousin?

She quits counting.

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

Why did the two knives go to the dance together?

Because they both looked sharp!

Why was the cutting board?

The knife was really dull

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Which popstar cuts down trees?

Michael LumberJackson

How was the Roman Empire cut in two?

With a pair of Caesars.