What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders?

He quit running.

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Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him?

He couldn't handle his boos.

What did the momma hawk say to her chicks?

Quit falcon around or get the flock outta here!

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why couldn't the clock be kept in jail?

Because time was always running out.

Why would Superman have won any race he ran against Roy Roger's dog?

Because he was faster than a speeding Bullet ...

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa?

I thought he didn't care about the 1%

Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs?

Because only the top 1% can stay above water.