Why can't my girlfriend perform at open mic night?

Because she's a cover thief.

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Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

How does a Metal Wizard perform his spells?

He ChromeCasts. anDruid humor.

Why was the topologist confident about performing a vasectomy?

Because open balls are in his neighborhood

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you say to a girlfriend who calls you a lazy couch potato?

Well let me tell you...

What did the skunk use to contact his girlfriend?

A: His smellular phone!