Why can't my girlfriend perform at open mic night?

Because she's a cover thief.

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Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

What did the veterinarian performing canine reproductive surgery say to the veterinarian with over productive saliva disorder?

Spay it don't spray it.

Why Weren't There Many Jokes in the Dark Ages?

No one could perform the execution well enough.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?

I love you a ton!"

Who's your Daddy?

In my excitement, I asked my girlfriend "How's your daddy " instead of "Who's your daddy " and now five hours later we're still talking about his diabetes...