Why cant you play cards on a rowboat?

Because you're sitting on the deck...

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Why should you never sit at the top deck of a double decker bus?

Because there is no driver up there.

What's Bernie Sanders favorite Christmas Carols?

deck the halls with boughs of free cash

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What animal should you never play cards with?

A cheetah

Where the hell did you get?

the barkeep asks. "I won it, playing cards", says the pig.